If you have ever paused mid-sentence wondering whether to say “neither of them are” or “neither of them is”, you are in very good company. Learning to use either, neither, nor and or correctly is one of the last grammar hurdles between intermediate and genuinely fluent English — and it trips up native speakers too. In this guide, our tutors at The Cognitio break down the rules we teach in class every week, with tables, examples and the fixes for the mistakes we hear most often in 2026.
The good news: these four words follow a small number of patterns. Once you see the logic, you stop guessing.
What Do Either, Neither, Nor and Or Actually Mean?
All four words deal with two options. The difference is whether the meaning is positive (choose one) or negative (reject both), and whether the word is working alone or as part of a pair.
| Word | Meaning | Polarity | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| or | presents alternatives | positive | Tea or coffee? |
| either | one of two (it doesn’t matter which) | positive | Either answer is fine. |
| neither | not one and not the other | negative | Neither answer is correct. |
| nor | and not (continues a negative) | negative | She doesn’t smoke, nor does she drink. |
Notice the pairing instinct: either travels with or, and neither travels with nor. Mixing them — “either… nor” — is the single most common error we correct.
Either… Or: Choosing Between Two Options
Use either… or to present two possibilities. The structure is simple:
- Either + option A + or + option B
- We can either walk or take the bus.
- Either Maria or Tom will open the shop.
- You can pay either by card or in cash.
The golden rule of parallel structure: whatever grammatical form follows either must also follow or. Compare:
- ❌ She either wants to study medicine or law school. (verb phrase vs. noun)
- ✅ She wants to study either medicine or law. (noun vs. noun)
Either also works alone as a determiner or pronoun meaning “one of the two”: “Either day works for me.” / “I’ve read both books — either is worth your time.”
Neither… Nor: Rejecting Both Options
Neither… nor is the negative twin of either… or. Crucially, the sentence is already negative, so you must not add another negative word:
- ❌ He doesn’t like neither football nor tennis.
- ✅ He likes neither football nor tennis.
- ✅ Neither the manager nor the staff knew about the change.
In everyday speech, many people prefer the lighter alternative: “He doesn’t like football or tennis.” That’s perfectly correct English and often sounds more natural. Save neither… nor for writing, emphasis and formal contexts — a distinction we drill in our business English writing lessons.
The Verb Agreement Rule Everyone Gets Wrong
Here is the question that fills our inboxes: is it “neither of my friends is coming” or “are coming”?
The traditional rule is the proximity rule: the verb agrees with the subject closest to it.
| Sentence | Nearest subject | Verb |
|---|---|---|
| Neither the teacher nor the students ___ ready. | plural | are |
| Neither the students nor the teacher ___ ready. | singular | is |
| Either my brother or my parents ___ driving. | plural | are |
| Either my parents or my brother ___ driving. | singular | is |
Original tutor tip: when the proximity rule produces something that sounds clumsy, reorder the sentence so the plural noun comes second. “Neither the students nor the teacher is ready” is technically correct but jars the ear; “Neither the teacher nor the students are ready” sounds effortless. Professional editors do this constantly — it’s a stylistic escape hatch, not a grammar violation.
With “neither of + plural noun”, the formal standard is singular (“Neither of the answers is correct”), but the plural is now so widespread that Merriam-Webster records both as acceptable in general use. In IELTS or Cambridge writing tasks, choose the singular to be safe.
Nor Without Neither: The Advanced Move
Nor can appear without neither to continue a negative statement. When it starts a clause, English uses inversion — the auxiliary verb jumps in front of the subject, exactly as in a question:
- I haven’t finished the report, nor have I started the slides.
- She didn’t call, nor did she reply to my message.
- The hotel wasn’t cheap, nor was it comfortable.
This inversion pattern is a hallmark of C1-level English and appears throughout the corpus data collected by the Corpus of Contemporary American English, where nor occurs far more frequently in academic and news writing than in conversation. Use it in essays and formal emails to lift your register instantly.
Short Agreement Responses
Both words shine in short replies. Learn these four patterns and you will sound dramatically more natural:
| Statement | Agreeing (positive) | Agreeing (negative) |
|---|---|---|
| I love jazz. | So do I. / Me too. | — |
| I don’t drive. | — | Neither do I. / Nor do I. / Me neither. |
| I’ve been to Lisbon. | So have I. | — |
| I can’t swim. | — | Neither can I. |
There is also the sentence-final either, which negative sentences use instead of too: “I don’t like horror films.” — “I don’t like them either.” Never “I don’t like them too.” If you want more work on natural spoken responses, our guide to English conversation practice covers dozens more patterns.
The Five Mistakes We Correct Most Often
- Mixing the pairs. ❌ Either John nor Sarah came. → ✅ Neither John nor Sarah came.
- Double negatives. ❌ I don’t want neither. → ✅ I want neither. / I don’t want either.
- Using too in negatives. ❌ He isn’t coming too. → ✅ He isn’t coming either.
- Forgetting inversion after clause-initial nor. ❌ …nor I have seen it. → ✅ …nor have I seen it.
- Breaking parallel structure. ❌ You can either call me or you send an email. → ✅ You can either call me or send me an email.
Pronunciation is worth a mention too. Both /ˈaɪðə/ and /ˈiːðə/ are correct for either — the first is more common in British English, the second in American English. Neither pronunciation is “wrong”, so pick one and stay consistent. Our British vs. American English comparison maps out more of these splits.
Practice: Test Yourself in 60 Seconds
Fill the gaps, then check your instinct against the rules above:
- ______ the CEO nor the directors were available for comment.
- You can have ______ the fish ______ the chicken.
- He doesn’t speak French, ______ ______ he read it.
- “I haven’t seen that film.” — “______ have I.”
Answers: 1. Neither (verb were agrees with plural directors) · 2. either… or · 3. nor does (inversion) · 4. Neither / Nor.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it “neither is” or “neither are”?
In formal writing, use neither is — neither is treated as singular: “Neither of the candidates is qualified.” In everyday speech, “neither of the candidates are qualified” is extremely common and widely accepted. For exams such as IELTS, Cambridge or TOEFL, always choose the singular verb.
Can I use “either… nor” in a sentence?
No. Either pairs only with or, and neither pairs only with nor. If your sentence has a positive meaning, use either… or; if it rejects both options, use neither… nor. There is no correct context for “either… nor”.
What is the difference between “me neither” and “me either”?
Both respond to a negative statement, and both mean “the same is true for me”. Me neither is standard in British and American English. Me either is common in informal American speech but is considered non-standard in writing — avoid it in essays and professional emails.
Can “either” and “neither” refer to more than two things?
Strictly, both refer to exactly two items. For three or more, use any, none or not any: “None of the five options works.” That said, extended lists with neither… nor… nor do appear in literary and formal writing, so you may see them in older texts.
Bringing It All Together
Mastering either, neither, nor and or comes down to four habits: keep the pairs together, avoid double negatives, apply the proximity rule for verb agreement, and remember to invert after a clause-initial nor. Practise the short agreement responses out loud — “So do I” / “Neither do I” — because that is where these words appear most in real conversation.
Ready to make these patterns automatic instead of something you calculate mid-sentence? Book a one-to-one lesson with a certified tutor at The Cognitio and get personalised feedback on your speaking and writing from your very first session.